first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
