I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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