Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
