It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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