last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
