Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
