I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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