I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
