im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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