nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Jerry, you need to find god
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
