He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
