So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
