I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
