doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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