Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
