You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
