You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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