pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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