I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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