Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
