got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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