I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
