to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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