Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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