I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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