Jerry, you need to find god
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
