If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
