My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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