He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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