Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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