Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
