jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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