Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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