Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I want is dick and wine.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
