Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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