pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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