Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
