He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
