And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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