there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize