I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
