Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
