just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
