I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
