Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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