check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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