i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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