help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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