I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
