I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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