I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
