So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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