i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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