Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
