If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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