he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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