our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
