Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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