i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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