Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
