jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize