How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize