I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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