You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
wow bdsm is so cute
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
